Make Yourself Heard

Make Yourself Heard
by Takara Alexis

What part of the words "just a trim" didn't the hair-hacking stylist get? Did you not go over how that silk shirt needed to be hand dried? Wasn't it your idea that just come out of your colleague's mouth and is now "the most genius thing" your boss has ever heard?

Do people avoid making any sort of eye contact with you while you are just trying to be helpful? Do you get interrupted? It is possible that you may be looked at as a know-it-all, or your suggestions could seem like criticism. Eventually people might stop listening to what you have to say altogether. Next time you have advice to give, try asking, "Would you like to hear what I think?" Or "I have a different point-of-view, would you like to listen to it?"

While you're talking, do people look at their Blackberries or make you feel like you are wasting their time? It is a possibility that you could losing peoples interest due to a discrepancy in communication styles.

Note the speed the other person speaks in and attempt to match it. If you are speaking too slow to a speedy communicator, his mind could wander; if you speak too fast to a slow-speaking person, he might tune out because he feels frustrated. Many women like to commiserate-talking about issues not to fix them but just to share them as a simple way to lower stress, according to a recent study.

Some people-men particularly-take talk like this as a burdensome request for help. Let your friend or coworker know that you just want to vent for a few minutes about what's happening. Also advise him that he does not need to do anything or say anything about it. This way he won't have to assume that he needs to offer you a comforting solution.

No matter what, there is no way you can go wrong by making people feel important and showing some interest in what they have to say. In other words, you will be listened to more if you listen to others.